WARNING: TRUTH BOMBS BELOW.
Today I took an exam to further my career as a Project Manager, and I passed! I was sweating, heart racing, and beyond nervous before pressing “start”. I was nervous I would fail, I was nervous I would pass, I was nervous that my daughter would cry in the background and I would get distracted, etc. I was just outright nervous as shit, honestly.
I work full time, mom life full time, and the thought of taking a course + exam had me shook. I am always strapped for time - I couldn’t fathom the thought of adding studying and taking a test. Where and how would I even find the time? Nevertheless, I did it - I put my big girl pants on and committed to investing in myself. I would stay up after London went to sleep and use any gaps throughout the day to prepare. It was working great at first. Then worked picked up, London got sick, and life just started happening. I would go days without looking at the material and beat myself up about it. Que the nerves!
I also knew that at the end of the day I made a commitment to myself that I had to pass no matter what. Although my daughter is very young I still want her to see her mom achieving what I set my mind to and working hard + making things happen. I want her to know she should always invest in herself. I had to pick up where I left off and leave my judgment/insecurity at the door.
When I finished the exam and the word “passed” popped up on the screen. I did a happy dance, looked at the picture of my daughter, and smiled. Mommy did it. I did it for me and her. I stepped out of the room and kissed her beautiful smiling face. I wasn’t emotional then, but I am now. (as a I watch her nap).
I am emotional now because I feel like the flood gates of confidence have opened back up. It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day. It’s also easy to achieve something you worked hard for and just keep trucking ahead to the next goal, without even acknowledging your progress. I am guilty of this. It’s always “on to the next” for me.
As a new mom sometimes it hard to find time to do things that aren’t mom/baby related. They take up a lot of physical, mental, and emotional space. You don’t do anything without thinking about your child. I was nervous I wouldn’t have enough space and time to take on anything extra. I did it though and I succeed. By betting on myself/investing in myself I was able to restore a little more confidence and inspire myself in the end! It’s like a light went off just now. I got this man! It may be hard and require some new techniques + adjustments, but at the end of the day if I want it I can get it. And so can you.
If there is something you have been putting off or nervous to do .. take a step towards it today. Every/any step, no matter how big or small, will give you the confidence to keep going. If you are a new mom and don’t think you can do it - girl, you gave LIFE to someone .. you CAN do it.
I got this. You got this. We got this!
Do something, now! Thank me later :)
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